Brooke, I think you are doing exactly what you should do (mimicking lifters of similar builds). I tell all my lifters to do the same. With Youtube, that is a pretty easy task now days. Of course, it doesn't always work. There are elite lifters with wonky form, but generally, it works.
I was watching the Iron Mind Bulgarian Training Hall tape last night again, and it is wholly apparent that they LOVE to triple extend. It certainly hasn't hurt them.
I do admit that watching many of the chinese lifters, many of the them (especially in the lower classes) don't leave the ground, and shrug as a way of getting themselves down, rather that using the shrug as a means of giving the bar more height. this supports Don's conclusions, some what.
Using the traps for the pull under is a sound idea. Though, the bulgarians seem to use it as a last second effort to get the bar back, so that they don't catch too far forward. Thus the famous "bow" shape they end up in. This is also valid.
But, I don't like Don's "loose shoulders" thing either. I coach everyone to "pinch a pencil" between their shoulder blades (exactly what he was arguing against). I've noticed over the years that they get more leg drive that way. Loose shoulders leads to a loose back which translates into a mitigation of the force from the legs being transferred into the bar. Bad!
Don is right that the first pull really only exists to get the bar in position for the second pull. And so, if an athlete does better starting with low hips, so be it. (in my experience this is true of shorter, short legged, athletes.) But, that goes the other way, too. Long legged athletes nearly always do better with higher hips. It just fits their levers better. So, his insistance on a low hip position is very one sided and doesn't follow his own logic.
He's worried about lifters catching the bar too far forward. This is a valid concern, one that plagues tons of lifters. But, taller lifters with short torsos and long legs rarely have this concern when starting with higher hips. their torsos are so short that even with high hips, their center of gravity is well behind the bar.
With short lifters who have short legs and long torsos, that isn't true. ANY forward lean (which is accentuated by a high hip position) causes the center of gravity to move over the bar. So, starting with low hips can smooth over some of that natural tendency.
Bottom line, for me, is that he's got some fundamentalist tendencies. And that's what I don't like. But, some of what he says has merit, even if it is surrounded by some strangeness.