Topic: News: Melanie Roach says raising autistic child is a learning experience.

[Chris Ⓐ LeRoux]

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Son lifts mother's resolve
Roach says raising autistic child is a learning experience.
By JIMMIE TRAMEL

Olympic weightlifter Melanie Roach was the first U.S. woman to clean and jerk more than double her body weight.

This is supposed to be a story about Olympic weightlifter Melanie Roach, 2009 female recipient of the Henry P. Iba Citizen Athlete Award.

She's an itty-bitty (5-foot-1) mother of three who is stronger than your mom — and your dad, unless perhaps he was sired by Zeus.

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Now, hit the pause button on the Roach introduction so she can tell you about her middle child, Drew.

Drew loves french fries and Legos and choo-choo trains, which seems fitting when Mom is more powerful than a locomotive. He likes to toss Legos in the toilet.

"We have had five toilets clogged in the last two weeks and we had to have the plumber out twice," Melanie said. "My husband is now an expert at taking the toilet off."

Drew is an adventurer.

He lets himself out the back door and sneaks to a neighbor's home to scavenge for Skittles and Starbursts or whatever kind of candy he can find. It's not uncommon to find him on the neighbors' trampoline, eating their food.

A neighbor kid once knocked on the door and said, "Mrs. Roach, Drew is on the roof." The little scamp zipped out a bedroom window and climbed on top of the house. Drew has no sense of danger, so you have to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't bolt into traffic.

Get the idea Drew could run you ragged? He's a lot like other 6-year-olds except that, really, he isn't.

Drew is autistic. He's like a 2-year-old in a 6-year-old body, according to Melanie. He doesn't talk often and doesn't use many words,
although you can bank on him saying "french fries" every time he sees a fast-food joint.

"As far as his personality, he is a very loving, very sweet boy who wants to be a part of what we are doing, but doesn't quite know how," Melanie said.

"Fortunately, he does want to be a part of the family now and he doesn't necessarily go off by himself like he used to. But he can be overwhelmed pretty easily by sounds or too much excitement. If there are too many people in the house or if we are in a new setting, it can be difficult for him."

Being the parent of an autistic child is a not-for-the-weak challenge.

You could say Melanie overcame being Drew's mom to reach the 2008 Olympics. But the opposite is correct. The reason she made it to Beijing is because she is Drew's mom.

Turning point

Melanie is active in her church and has ample faith. She used to kneel beside Drew's bed every night and pray for him to "just flat-out recover and get better."

Months passed. No miracle. Depression set in.

"It wasn't the kind of depression that keeps you from leaving your house," she said. "But it was definitely a sadness that I felt in my heart."

About half a year after Drew was diagnosed, the weightlifter — Melanie was the first U.S. woman to clean and jerk more than double her body weight — decided the burden at home was too heavy. She went to see a bishop.

"I cannot do this," she told him. "This is not what I signed up for."

She said the bishop looked back at her with a sweet smile and said, "You know what, Melanie? This is exactly what you signed up for."

Melanie said it was an uplifting moment and a real turning point.

"I immediately went back to praying — not necessarily praying he would get better, but praying I would know how to handle him better, that I would have the patience in myself to raise him better."

The trip to the bishop opened Melanie's eyes wide enough for her to see the progress Drew was making.

"What was cool was he probably was making all this progress before that," she said. "But I just didn't see it because I was so caught up in all the things he was never going to do. Then I realized he was going to be fine and I was going to be fine. Everything was going to work out."

Not coincidentally, she began feeling the same way about her Olympic quest.

Weighty issues

Melanie flirted with an Olympic trip in 2000 but suffered a serious back injury before the trials. She retired, became a mom, started a gymnastics business and helped her husband, Dan, get elected to the Washington State House of Representatives.

Deciding she had unfinished business, Melanie unretired and underwent a surgical procedure (microdiscectomy) to correct recurring back problems in 2006.

"When I first started my comeback, I was very caught up in all the weight I couldn't do and how strong I used to be and how far away I was from actually making the Olympic team," she said.

Melanie has "absolute confidence" she never would have reached Beijing if not for Drew. "He taught me to enjoy the now. It doesn't mean you don't have to prepare for the future or learn from the past, but don't let that distract you from enjoying the present."

Melanie placed sixth in her weight class and set a new American record.

Some people take lemons and make lemonade. She takes bad news and makes history.

An ex-high school gymnast, Melanie once fell from a high bar and dislocated an elbow. She was introduced to weights while rehabilitating and grudgingly agreed to enter lifting competitions.

"Like everybody else, I thought of Olympic weightlifters as these humongous Russian Helga women. I was not interested. Ironically, I'm a quarter Russian," said Melanie, whose maiden name is Kosoff.

Melanie competed at 117 pounds. She's carrying extra weight now because she's pregnant with child No. 4.

She enjoys changing perceptions. You don't have to be plus-size to be a weightlifter. And autism doesn't have to be a tragedy.

"Drew is no longer a burden," said Melanie, a member of Athletes Against Autism.

"I hope I can enlighten other people in their situations, because autism is not going away. It is becoming more prevalent and I'm seeing more of it in my community and people are reaching out and asking for help, and I just love being a part of helping change their perspective and letting them know this doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be a good thing, and it can strengthen your family."

HENRY IBA CITIZEN ATHLETE AWARDS

Monday

Renaissance Hotel

Master of ceremonies: Ross Porter

Keynote speaker: Jeff Capel

Male recipient: Drew Brees

Female recipient: Melanie Roach

Tickets: 584-7642